And "the stop sign" is not an acceptable response.

By Alison

Like Jeff, I've got an April birthday, only mine is at the end of the month, making me a Taurus, which got me thinking about horoscopes and, you know, whether or not they're full of crap.

I'll preface this by saying that I grew up in Southern California, where astrology loomed large. It may have even been a required class in certain high schools in my area, that's how big it was. People would ask you at parties, "What sign are you?" And they didn't care if it sounded like they were auditioning for the dating game, the information was that deathly important to them. "Really? ATaurus?" the would say. "What's your rising sign?" And they were serious.

I've known for years and years that I'm a Taurus with Sagitarius rising, which I believe makes me both stubborn and flashy. I know too that I am an earth sign, while Jeff, being an Aries, is fire. (You'd think he'd be water, with all that surfer stuff he cranks out... Whereas Jim Born, with his talent for male erotica, might be more of a fire sign, but I digress...)

Anyway, I still think astrology is fun, but despite my upbringing -- and despite the fact I live in Woodstock where I STILL get asked my sign all the time -- it's hard for me to take it very seriously. For one thing, I share a birthday with Eve Arden and Willie Nelson. I'd be hard-pressed to say what those two have in common with each other, let alone what they have in common with me. And my daughter shares a birthday with Jerry Mathers and the Marquis de Sade.

I got my chart done once. I do have to say, I was pretty amazed at how accurate it was -- but was that because it really was accurate, or because it was general enough, I could read into it what I want?

I have a writer friend who, when coming up with a new character, thinks long and hard about that character's birthday, making sure they're the right sign. Others I know won't sign a contract when Mercury is in retrograde, and another friend of mine once turned down a date with a perfectly great guy, because, "I mean... he's a Pisces."

I don't understand any of that. But I do know a lot more about astrology than I probably should.

Do you believe in astrology? If so (or if not)... what's your sign?

Comments

[Jim Winter]

Years ago, the ex and I had this Parasitic Roommate (hereinafter called the PRM[TM]) who was an avowed atheist because she had science on her side. I could accept this, except...

She would then whine that I would not get an astrological chart done.

I said, "If you're an atheist, then you shouldn't be superstitious." That usually bought the ex and I an evening of peace and quiet.

One day, I mentioned to the PRM(TM) that I was going away for the weekend as it was my brother's birthday. She said, "Ooh, he must be intelligent. He's an Aquarius. Is your brother smart?"

I said, "Sure is. For starters, he doesn't believe in astrology."

PRM(TM) moved out not too long after that conversation.

Even after going through a divorce, the ex and I are still happier.

[Clair Lamb]

Astrology breaks down in my family, because I have a fraternal twin sister I have little in common with, two younger sisters who are identical twins (who naturally have a lot in common, but have followed very different life paths), and a brother who was born on their first birthday and has almost nothing in common with either of them.

Kathy and I are double Scorpios with Gemini rising, which means that we are not as flaky and far more dangerous than we might first appear. That much, at least, I'll buy . . .

[victor gischler]

Jerry Mathers and the Marquis de Sade. Two peas in a pod.

VG

[Karen Olson]

I was way into astrology when I was in high school. But then again, what teenager isn't?

I'm a Leo. I share a birthday with Hulk Hogan. Read into that what you will.

[Lori Armstrong]

I'm a Leo -- on the "cusp" I think, which means I'm almost a Cancer, depending on the chart as far as which day begins the Leo reign.

Me and J.Lo and...Ruth Buzzi share the same birthday.

I have a hardcore Christian uncle who saw me reading my horoscope and cautioned me not to read those "pagan signs" and to put my trust in God instead, because there is no such thing as fate. I took great pleasure in reading EVERYONE'S horoscope aloud at the breakfast table after that, during my teen years...

[David Terrenoire]

I've never had a woman refuse to date me because I'm a Pisces.

An asshole, yes, but never a Pisces.

I was born on the Ides of March and it's haunted me ever since. I share that birthday with Ry Cooder and Lightnin' Hopkins and I still can't play guitar.

My mother once read my horoscope when I was in my teens. It advised women not to get involved with a Pisces because they were likely to sit on a bar stool all night and say they were researching a novel.

I took that as good career advice.

[norby]

I'm a Leo and I share a birthday with Robert DeNiro. I can live with that.

[Mary Stella]

I'm a Capricorn with Aries rising and a moon in Leo.

But I don't follow astrology much. No, really. I don't. I just had my chart done many rising suns and moons ago.

I think that I'm stubborn, passionate, and enjoyed greater success later in life are mere coincidences.

The only planetary influence that I pay attention to is Mercury in retrograde. It's the galaxy's Murphy's law. Universal SNAFU. I don't have to read or hear that Mercury's gone into retrograde. I can tell by what's happening, or not happening around me.

Contracts, projects, normal work-related activities that usually go off without a hitch all become major pains in the ass to complete with plenty of screw ups needing to be unraveled. I honestly have seen this happen wayyyy too often to be coincidental.

I don't plan or alter my life around the retrograde periods, but I remind myself that the ride's going to be a lot bumpier.

[Mary Stella]

If I'd read my horoscope today, it might have said that I should proofread all blog comments before posting.

[Becky Hutchison]

I'm Scorpio and most of my houses are in Scorpio, whatever that means. About 10 years ago someone did my chart for free with one of those horoscope software programs, and I was really surprised at how accurate it was. I can't remember the details, but I was surprised how close it was to my life up to that time.

[Becky Hutchison]

Oh, and I share my BD with Bo Derek, Joe Walsh, Dick Smothers, Dick Clark, Joe Biden and some guy named Otto von Guericke, who invented the air pump.

[Jeff Shelby]

Aries. I have no idea what this means about me other than I'm supposed to know it.