SPECIAL GUEST BLOGGER ALAFAIR BURKE wants YOU to Help Her Name a PORN STAR! (and win a book too!)

 

It’s that time of year again.  No, I’m not talking about publication day, even though my new novel, 212, drops on March 23.  (Sorry, but I like saying drops.  Very Snoop Dogg, you know?)  In this instance, however, I’m referring to the time of year when I donate a character name to be auctioned off for our law school’s Public.Justice Foundation. 

I struggle with character names.  One of my protagonists is named Samantha Kincaid.  I’ve never been sure how I came up with it, but I later realized that as I was starting the book, I was reading a Michael Connelly novel with a secondary character named Sam Kincaid.  Was I influenced?  Maybe.  Then when I took up a second series, I used my mother-in-law’s name as a placeholder until I could make a decision.  Guess what happened?  Yep, Ellie Hatcher is named after my mother-in-law.

The same thing happened with my dog.  I wanted to name him Stacy Keach,
but was vetoed by my husband.  The poor dear was called Puppy for a week before I finally relented.   The Duffer now has a name that suits him quite well, but I confess to invoking his original name on occasion.  

If I’d ever had children, they’d probably head off for first grade as Girl and Boy.

I struggle with names because they matter.  I have a friend who questions the relevance of naming, but names for me are more than random labels.  Maybe it’s because I was saddled and blessed with this weirdo name of mine and can’t imagine being called anything else.

So back to the auction.  When I auction off a character name, I make clear that the buyer doesn’t get to write the character.  The buyer can opt to be good or bad, dead or alive, and that’s it.  One would think I could take any old name and pop it onto any passing character, but I can’t.  I go into casting-agent mode, creating an image to go with a mere name, and then matching that image to an existing character in the manuscript.  I’m ashamed to disclose the number of minutes or hours I can spend on the task, usually only to come up with a safe casting call, like a crime analyst or defense lawyer.  But in 212, the character name, purchased by one of my law students, went to a hooker.  The buyer couldn’t have been happier.

I haven’t learned the name of this year’s buyer yet, but hope it’s something colorful.  The recent discussion here about drag names inspired me.  I need a good porn name for my new book and plan to take a long time thinking about it.  I figure it can be a good dinner-conversation topic for the next couple of months if necessary.  I also thought we could get the ball rolling (no pun intended) here.

Good porn-star names?  Feel free to throw in accompanying movie titles.  And, just for fun, try out this online porn-name generator. Ellie Hatcher is Nikky Pantsmaster, Esq.  How great is that?

I’ll be raffling off a copy of 212 by randomly selecting among the comments posted by the end of March 17. (THAT'S RIGHT PEOPLE -- POST A COMMENT, GET A CHANCE TO WIN ALAFAIR'S TERRIFIC NEW THRILLER, 212! - Ed)

Comments

[AlisonGaylin]

Welcome, Alafair! I take a long time naming characters too -- especially for my WIP because they're series characters and if the name isn't perfect, you're locked in to it for a while. I LOVE the name Ellie Hatcher, so So anyway, my series' character is named Brenna Spector. Her porn star name is Cindy Hardon, which is a little more blatant than most female porn star names -- but it still has a certain class, I think. My porn star name, on the other hand... Jizzy Deep.

[Karen Olson]

Welcome, Alafair! When I started my tattoo shop series, I wanted a name for my new protag that wouldn't sound too much like Annie Seymour, my previous series character. So I came up with Brett Kavanaugh (it's amazing how many girl names end in the "ie" sound). Brett's porn name is Sassy Sinn, which I rather like. I don't like mine, though, which is Exotica Darkholer. Sounds like a porn star vampire.

[zsazsa oneal]

porn names hmmmn satina sweet , sindy sweat or maybe extacy evans?

[Jen Forbus]

Hehehe...mine came out "Pinky Tickler." That's too funny. I think Xena would make a great porn name, though. Or, while I absolutely love the NCIS character, I do think Zeva would make a great, sexy porn name, too.

Good luck with that one, Alafair!

[N]

Billy Lafitte turned out to be Jack Nut. Ha. Which is exactly the one he used when he starred in that gay porn (for money!) with Roger D. Ass and Lon Reacher.

Personally, I prefer Ophilia Whole in that just released porn verison of AVATAR called AVALONGONE.

[APMonkey]

Female: Honey Flowers.
Male: Richard (Dick) Steele.

[Audrey Main]

How about Tara Hardon or Lovely Pushit?

[David Terrenoire]

I think ZsaZsa Oneal is a pretty cool porn star name. Hell, come to think of it, Alafair Burke works, too.

I agonize over names, too, so you have my sympathy.

In a novel I ghosted, I needed a name for a Geraldo-like TV reporter. My daughter was attending the University of Richmond at the time and my wife had scribbled a note, abbreviating the school as URich.

Hmm, Urich, not a bad last name. I put that together with the school's team, the Spiders, and came up with Spyder Urich.

I wish they were all that easy.

[Karen Olson]

Of course we can't forget that George Costanza's porn name is Buck Naked.

[Kate Watson]

I can't wait to read your new book, but I see that I have to give you a porn name for a chance at it, so how about Sandy Fyre?

[Rocky Romeo]

Use my name! (Rocky Romeo) I've been told more than once that I've got the name of a porn star!

[David Booker]

Female: Any Malle and Holiday O'Dare starring in the Shakespearean parody, The Taming of the Screw.

Co-staring that up and coming shemale porn star: Spenser Dick.

With a guest appearance by that male porn icon: G. Golly Wad.

Directed by: Holly Cow
Script by: Billy S. Spear

Shot on location in Simi Valley, CA.

With post production work at our world-famous Bangalore studios.

Worldwide distribution by BIMBO: BIg Man's Britches Online.

Music by Howlin' Jack and The Scratch and Sniff Quartet.

[David Booker]

www.killernashville.com, August 20 - 22. Who knows, you might find some interesting names there you could use or even more important, so interesting names you could meet of both authors and readers of mysteries and thrillers and suspense novels.

[Martyn Lewis]

Hi Alafair,

You don't say whether the porn star is male or female....

The only one I've come up with, (unfortunate phrasing there) is

Richard (Dick) Fitzergood

[Lori Armstrong]

Welcome Alafair!! Good to have you at FO :)

Mercy Gunderson's porn name ended up...Tonya Fuzzynuts -- hmmm...

[Becky Hutchison]

My name turned into Blonde Dangler, but it sounds more like Dirk Dingler from Boogie Nights.

Ok, some porn names (sort of the same as my drag queen):

Flash Urtits
Candy Cane
Beau Dacious
Connie Lingus

[Becky Hutchison]

Whoops! I meant Dirk Diggler of Boogie Nights.

[Joyce Joyner]

PORN STAR NAME...

LUCKIE DAY

hope it will be mine!

[Jeff Shelby]

This was easy.

James O. Boner

[steven poe]

How about Constance Lingus, a.k.a "Connie"

or Sharon Mine

[Alafair Burke]

I got swamped today and couldn't check in as frequently as I would have liked, but, boy, did that bring a happy ending to my day (tee hee). Random book winner announced tomorrow. Name TBD (because, seriously, I plan on using this as conversation-filler for the next year!)

[John]

Hmm...

How about:

Philomena Hole
S.H. Megma
Ima Ridya
Seymour Bush

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

[Alafair Burke]

Congratulations, Becky H! The random number generator selected you to receive a copy of my new book,212. Please send my your mailing address, and I'll get it out to you. Thanks, all, for the comments!

[Becky Hutchison]

Thank you, Alafair. I can't wait to read your newest book!

[oral sex tips]

I am agree with you!! I think the name of every person have too much influence in theirs, that is why is very important to choice a particular name but most important is to know the meaning of the name that you chose.