Scene From My Local Barnes & Noble Last Night:
Me: I'm looking for a book.
BN Dude: You've come to the right place.
Me: Good one. It's a new book.
BND: We have those kind, too.
Me: You're on a roll, pal. Actually, the book might not even be out yet.
BND: Well I can check my handy dandy computer.
Me: Okay. It's called The Human Disguise by James O'Neal.
BND: Do you know what category it might be under?
Me: Authors Who Are Jackasses?
BND: The only author I see listed there is a David Terrenoire.
Me: Oh, well that fits. How about science fiction then?
BND: Ah yes. Here it is. Let me show you where it is in the store.
(And we're walking...)
BND: So why this book?
Me: I have to buy it.
BND: A gift for someone?
Me: Oh hell no. I wouldn't give this book to my worst enemy. It's probably a horrible read. The author is a friend of mine, though, and he gets all pissy if I don't buy his books when they come out. No one else does, so it's the least I can do.
BND: You know the author? How exciting!
Me: Not really. He just won't leave me alone and I've built up a tolerance.
(Now in Science Fiction section...)
BND: Hmmmm. I don't see it.
Me: Could it be elsewhere?
BND: Possibly.
Me: He does write under another name, too.
BND: Another name?
Me: His real name is James O. Born.
BND: THE MALE EROTICA AUTHOR?!?!?!
Me: One and the same.
BND: How fantastic! And you know him?
Me: Like I said. I tolerate him. He shot my book once.
BND: How unfortunate. Let's take a look around the store. I'm sure we'll find it.
And after a few minutes of looking, we did.
The Human Disguise by James O'Neal is the new science fiction venture by FOFO James O. Born. Here's the description:
The world has been shattered. Disease and war have ravaged the Earth. A resurgent Germany once again threatens Europe, and the United States is engaged in the Middle-East while New York sits, an empty, radioactive ruin. The city of Miami has become a virtual prison, home to the worst life has to offer. Tom Wilner lives on the outskirts of this foresaken realm. He's what this future passes off as a police officer. With his family shattered, Wilner is just a pale version of the police hero he once was. When a chance encounter in a rundown roadhouse erupts in violence, Wilner is forced to step in. His exploration into the violence of that evening leads him onto the path of two ancient warring races. They have been manipulating power and control on Earth for centuries, and are about to enter into a battle for ultimate supremacy. Unless Tom Wilner puts an end to their fury.
Officially, it's out tomorrow. But I did in fact find it yesterday. So maybe it's out at your local bookstore today. Go find out.
And I'd so appreciate it if you could suggest other places in the store his book might've been shelved.
Jeff
Um, yeah, that back copy sure sounds like romance to me.
Posted by: Jen of a2eatwrite | May 25, 2009 at 09:57 AM
Jen,
Death, depression and deprivation are what passes for romance in the Born household.
On a side note, I'm just happy to be in the computer at all.
Posted by: David Terrenoire | May 25, 2009 at 11:14 AM
Point Shelby.
Excellent -Authors who are jackasses.
And to throw Terrenoire under the bus too. That's risky.
Jim B
Posted by: James O. Born | May 25, 2009 at 01:14 PM
How gracious of Jim, conceding the point to Jeff. But Jeff, were I you,I'd be a bit worried. Jim may smile and nod and be a gentleman for a while but I'd watch those back alleys and dark hallways and stairwells and whatnot. Hell, you might not even feel it until it's all over.
Posted by: Trey R. Barker | May 25, 2009 at 02:04 PM
This totally cracked me up.
And because I'm just back from the pool and all relaxed and stuff I've got nothing else...
Posted by: Karen Olson | May 25, 2009 at 04:23 PM
How I love this! Yes, Jim Born is our favorite male erotica author, so I really can't think of a better section for his book to be in. Congrats on the release, Jim!!
Posted by: AlisonGaylin | May 25, 2009 at 08:31 PM
Thank you for the good wishes.
It is a great photo and dialog.
Wait till I have a few minutes.
JIm
Posted by: James O. Born | May 25, 2009 at 09:14 PM
Shelby, Born is totally gonna get you one of these days :)
Congrats to James on the beginning of his dual life...
Posted by: Lori Armstrong | May 26, 2009 at 07:48 AM
Okay, that was reasonably funny. Who are you, and what have you done with Jeff Shelby?
Posted by: Jake Nantz | May 26, 2009 at 08:07 AM
You shouldn't pair the the phrase "male erotica" with the word "release" in the same post.
Posted by: Gerard | May 26, 2009 at 11:22 AM