Keep Honking, I'm Reloading

Lori here~

Like Alison, I'm plugging away and under deadline. Between the promo for SHALLOW GRAVE, and then switching gears to finish book #4, I'm not feeling the "I wanna talk about writing" blog today, because my opinions can be found at these fine places this week:

I'll be guest blogging here Novel Investigations/J.Carson Black Blog on Friday, Nov. 9th

And...Everything you wanted to know about me here Lori Armstrong interview

Enough promo - let's talk about my love of bumper stickers, refrigerator magnets and T-shirts.

When we're on vacation, I don't buy snow globes or collectible spoons (a Midwest thing) but gravitate toward the shops which carry...clever, but often crude and raunchy sayings. Shocking I know. Ooh, and I even buy smart-ass stuff for my kids, who are probably hopelessly warped.

Here are some I found looking around my house this morning:

Latte - Italian for "You paid too much for that coffee."

God is busy: Can I help you?

Everything I know about life I learned from porn!

I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

Eat right, exercise, die anyway.

My biggest fear is there is no such thing as PMS and this IS my personality.

Some I wanted to buy but didn't -

T-shirt - Ranch hands do it better - and - Cowgirls do it best in the dirt

T-shirt - When life gives you lemons, call your girlfriends and make margaritas

License plate holder - "My other ride is a cowboy"

Bumper sticker - My karma trumps your dogma

T-shirt - Women suck...at least the good ones do

T-shirt - Men...starting wars since the dawn of time

T-shirt - That's MR. Asshole to you.

Deadwood Gaming T-shirt - Liquor in the front; Poker in the rear

Jesus is coming, and is he pissed

Some pajamas I purchased for my daughters - (no they don't wear these in public)

Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them

You're dumb, it's annoying, go away

You suck and that's sad

Our youngest daughter told me about a shirt a girl at her school wore last week:
I got an A+ in shopping.  My sweet 11 yr old then added slyly, "Maybe that's why she has a D in math." Yes, I wiped away proud tears.

Anyone wanna share their faves?

Comments

[David Terrenoire]

In case of rapture, can I have your car?

And from a real store in Pennsylvania: Beaver Liquors.

[David Terrenoire]

Oh, I forgot. This one from Wisconsin:

Honk if you love cheeses.

[Jeff Shelby]

I'm gonna need those "Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them" pjs for my own daughter.

One of my favorite shirts ever (that a friend owned) read:

"Stand right there while I kick you"

I always thought that was funny.

[Karen Olson]

A sign outside a Chinese restaurant:

We are grand opening.

[AlisonGaylin]

I'm partial to the "I (heart) Intercourse" snowglobe I bought in Intercourse, PA. But my favorite signs and t-shirt slogans anywhere were the nonsensical English ones we saw in Tokyo. We've got a picture of me standing in front of a hip hop record store called Progressive Sounds of the Street in Your Ass.

[Mr. LGA]

check out Tshirthell.com

enough said

[norby]

I'm the proud owner of a T-shirt that says 'I'm confused. Wait...maybe I'm not.' I used to wear it to Genetics class. It described my comprehension level.

[Charlene Teglia]

"Jesus is coming. Look busy." cracks me up every time.

[David Terrenoire]

Mr. LGA,

You sir, have solved my Christmas shopping dilemma.

[Ann M.]

My eldest has a shirt that fits perfectly -

Yo' Semite

It works on so many levels.. including Yosemite is a favorite place for us to vacation.

[JDRhoades]

JESUS LOVES YOU.

And under that in much smaller print:

everyone else thinks you're a dick.

I really love the Happy Bunny shirts, the ones with the adorable cartoon bunny with a big smile and captions like:

I'LL BE NICER WHEN YOU'RE SMARTER.

[JDRhoades]

Karen, Alison:

http://www.engrish.com/