The Smoker's Stare

I'm not a smoker.  Maybe it was the asthma when I was a kid.  Maybe it was because I would rather spend money on Taco Bell than cigs.  Anyway, I'm not a smoker.  Not a big fan of the smoke or the smell, either.

Still, I think the anti-smoking people go way way too far in trying to make tobacco illegal by proxy (of course, they won't say that's the goal, but it seems to be).  No smoke in bars?  Really?  Get out of here.  That one seems to be the most tone deaf of the laws.  I've got no problem with people smoking in bars where I'm hanging out.  In fact, I prefer it to the other option--smokers hanging around outside the door with a forlorn look and thousand yard stare.

That alone should convince the anti-smokers to let them poor saps back in, goddamn it.  I just hate the whole process.  1) I've got to pass these dullards on my way inside.  2) They always seem to be either looking down, propped against a wall or wandering in little circles, their faces just...just...angry or something.  When there are other smokers, the conversations between them are minimal, but when they do talk the words are laced with menace, depression, and regret.  3) This one sucks: why the fuck do smokers feel entitled to toss their fucking butts on the ground without one iota of thought to the thousands of butts already on the ground?  One day I expect archaeologists to find a five-foot thick layer of cigarette butts under all the dirt, and they'll be able to pinpoint exactly when that occurred. 

If you'd just let the people inside, they cheer up while smoking, listening to tunes on the jukebox, talking to friends, laughing, and stubbing out the butts in an ashtray.  And that's a bad thing?  Fuck second hand smoke.  It's a bar.  It's for vices.  Let people drink and smoke in peace.  And don't say 'They can do that at home."  No they can't!  They're going to a bar in order to escape what's at home.  And they can't even enjoy their time out?  Instead, the smokers are forced to think about their life choices, arms crossed, staring fixedly, looking bitter, in front of every goddamn bar in the country.

Also, I swear we've already seen the slippery slope start sloping and slipping--smug about the cig victory, the anti-fun fuckers are going after FAST FOOD.  And I don't care who you are, that's not right.  Maybe I can't smoke in a bar (don't want to), but I can still kill myself with fried chicken fingers and patty melts in this country...at least for now.

You smokers?  Would you like to come back inside?

FRIDAY BONUS VIDEO:

Comments

[Kent]

Hell, the whiners and crusaders (if we have to ban something, how about whining and crusading for half-wit causes? I'd be on board for that.) even temporarily got foie gras banned here. But a hot dog joint stood up to the bullshit and it went down.

[Jeff Shelby]

Well I'm not sure it's a cause to whine and crusade about - can think of a lot more important things - but I'm one of those people that seeks out smoke free bars now. To not go home smelling like an ashtray and to not have my nasal passages swollen from the smoke - I'm just more comfortable. That's not to say I don't frequent smoking bars as well because I do - but I'm happy to keep the smoke outside and away from me.

[Mike Dennis]

I'm a nonsmoker, and I don't particularly care for the odor of cigarette smoke, but you hit the nail on the head. Yesterday, it was smoking in bars, today it's fast food, tomorrow it'll be sugar, the day after tomorrow it'll be coffee, then red meat, then all refined carbohydrates, then alcohol and on and on.

Government is trying to save us from ourselves in order to get a firmer grip on our lives.

[Karen Olson]

As a former smoker, I'm happy that bars are smoke free now. Like Jeff, I don't want to come home smelling like an ashtray. Also, since I stopped smoking, the smell of it really gets to me now. When before I would fill an ashtray in a bar up over a couple of beers.

And we're not telling people they can't smoke. Or that they can't eat McDonald's. I think the smokers just need to get over it and if it means they have fewer cigarettes in a day, then maybe we're helping them not get lung cancer.

[A. N. Smith]

Well, Karen, a couple of points:

 

"And we're not telling people they can't smoke. Or that they can't eat McDonald's."

 

You might not be, but a lot of people are subtly pushing towards that but every year or so finding another avenue to cut off.  There was a commercial a few years ago from Truth or whatever in which a tabaco exec was in a futuristic jail, all because he sold tobacco.  I think that was a bit of brainwashing--telling the younger generation to push for that.

 

"I think the smokers just need to get over it and if it means they have fewer cigarettes in a day, then maybe we're helping them not get lung cancer."

 

A bit of sarcasm?  But then again, who gets to make that choice?  The individual, or society?  I'm scared of a society that forces me to be healthy, that picks and chooses LEGISLATIVELY what should and shoudn't be legal.  And the fast food push is beginning.You can feel it.

 

[Nerd of Noir]

There's no stopping the anti-smoking train at this point. The tobacco companies have been villified in the media and by the government (granted, often rightfully so) to the point that it's hard for activists to really want to get behind them, ACLU-style. Also, smokers don't make the best activists in that they too are considered a societal scourge by many (and when it comes down to it, all smokers figure they'll quit soon enough and when they do, they become bigger anti-smoke fascists than those who never smoked at all, most of the time).

I always thought that St Paul had their shit together when, right before the state-wide ban, the city said that if you could prove that over half your establishment's income was from alcohol sales instead of food, you could have a smoking section in the bar. That seemed fair to me and a lot of bars in the area installed amazing ventilation systems to boot. Of course, a few months later the state went no-smoke across the board and all was moot. Shame.

Now that the weather's improving, smokers don't have to darken the doorways with their depressed slouches - we can smoke on the patio! Until that privilege is taken from us as well, that is.

[David Terrenoire]

I don't smoke. I used to. I used to smoke two packs a day and did that for 25 years.I smoked Kools because they were the only cigarettes I could taste over the cocaine.

I worked for the advertising agency that created Joe Camel. I went to long, smoke-filled meetings in the RJR HQ in Winston Salem.

Even after I quit, when smokers were pushed outside,I would go into the chill and hang out with the smokers because they were always, pound for pound, more interesting than the people inside. One night I met David Sedaris' sister. And yes, she was interesting.

I play blues in a band. Up until January 1, I played in smokey bars and came home stinking like the inside of an old man's pocket.I don't miss that.

Times change. In the early 70's, everyone smoked dope in public.Even the police looked away.

Now things are so tight-assed that people are shunned for ordering extra cheese.

As a country, we have grown more intolerant and while I don't miss the stink of cigarette smoke in my clothes, I do miss the freedom to do whatever I felt like without bluenoses, left and right, insisting that freedom meant I was free to do whatever they thought was OK.

[victor gischler]

Sugar Tax on soda pop?

Look it up, people. Scary.

VG

[Mary Stella]

I'm also a former smoker and I lost my mother to lung cancer and strokes caused by her cigarette addiction.

Smoke away, if you want, just don't blame me for not wanting to share the experience -- or share the cigarette with you which ends up happening if I breathe in your second-hand smoke.

In the Florida there's a law about no smoking at inside restaurants if the place serves food as a certain percentage of its business. Luckily, there are also numerous open-air restaurants so smokers and non-smokers can peacefully co-exist. I just sit upwind of the smokers.

I don't glare at you if you smoke, unless you drop your cigarette butt to the ground. In that case I will pointedly suggest you pick it up and put it in an ash tray or stub it out and place it in the trash. Throw it in the ocean and I'll blister your ears. I've seen the x-rays of sea turtles who died of starvation because they'd mistaken floating cigarette butts for edible shrimp and ate so many they were permanently full.

[AlisonGaylin]

"I smoked Kools because they were the only cigarettes I could taste over the cocaine."

Honest to God one of the best sentences I've read in a very long time. David, if you haven't used that as the first sentence in a novel...um.... can I?

[Lori Armstrong]

I agree with Alison, David. Awesome visual.

I'm a former smoker - clean 17 years now. I prefer to be in a smoke free environment, but if I'm having a good time in a bar with friends, where there's smoke, I'll stay and resign myself to smelling like an ashtray.

People can smoke if they want. Eat sugar if they want. Drink if they want. What pisses me off is they make these bad lifestyle, knowing they're bad choices, and expect us -- taxpayers -- to pay for their bad fucking decisions, on numerous levels, yes, including healthcare. They can afford to buy cigarettes at $4 to $8 bucks a pack and smoke at least one pack a day, but they turn down company offered health insurance because it's too "expensive" -- that fucking pisses me off.

[David Terrenoire]

Alison (and Lori) I aim to write clean and honest sentences. When one jumps out, I'm happy.

Take it, Alison, with my blessings.