Why Wine?

Since I was shut out of the Edgars and other career-changing awards for the fourth book in a row, there's not much for me to talk about on the crime fiction front today.  I'm working on a new book, still working on a PLOTS WITH GUNS slam-bangin' double issue, and staring at the enormous piles of filthy snow outside my window, knowing that the weekend will bring more on top of it all.  And this semester, the day job has plenty of important tasks keeping me busy.

So I'll instead talk about why I prefer cheap red wine to beer.

1) I'm pretty sure I'm allergic to hops.  That sucks.  The only beer I can really drink without feeling sick is the cheapest possible mass-market swill, and Mexican beer with lime in it.  I'm pretty sure the lime ceviches the hell out of the hops or something.

2) Beyond that, I like how individual the whole wine thing is.  Seems like lots of people are having a go at making wine, which results in really cool, cheap, drinkable stuff with awesome labels that gives a stiff middle finger to the fancy-pants side of the industry.  So, yeah, I mostly decide based on labels.  Sad, ain't I?

3) It's sweet.  As a lifelong Coca-cola drinker, I like sweet.

4) I like buying screwtop wines and then watching my wine-drinking friends recoil in horror when I tell them about how good screwtops are.  Three Thieves did the screwtop thing for their jugs.  And I'm pretty sure I bought an Argyle Pinot Noir with a screwtop several years back.  I just discovered Big House Wine, all of its varieties screwtopped.  Also good to stun wine snobs: boxes of wine (or kegs in Red Truck's case), or even better, the Bandit single-serving juice box of wine.

5) Makes food taste fancier.  Even double cheeseburgers and, as I had last night, Totino's Pizza.

6) Nothing turns despair at Hogdoggin' being ignored by the bigwigs into forgetful bliss like a couple of glasses of this cheap Chilean blend I like called Primus.

7) Doesn't just feel like booze.  More like a hobby.

8) I like saying things like, "I note hints of cherry, blackberries, oak, and menthol cigarettes."

9) Also, "The front of the wine is kinda cough-syrupy, but then it blooms into splendid...um...grapes or something, and finishes like a car with an oil leak" (And that's high praise!)

10) And let's be honest: I'm a lightweight, so the fact that I can drink a couple of glasses and then switch to ice water for the rest of the night without wanting to scrape my tongue free of beer aftertaste is a good, good thing.

You got a particularly favored booze?  You a beer snob? A mixed-drink type? Hardcore alkie?

FRIDAY BONUS VIDEO:

Comments

[Gerard]

Another thank you for introducing JJ Grey and Mofro a few months ago.

[Graham]

Beer: Bass Ale, Killian's Red, or Shiner Bock. While at "Behind the Black Mask" BCon party, we drank every Shiner they had.

And don't worry about your books being ignored. Dan Brown was midlist at best before DAVINCI CODE. Or, for a crime-fiction example: George Pelecanos. His best early book, THE BIG BLOWDOWN, sank without a trace when released.

[Lori Armstrong]

I drink red wine sometimes, but at heart, I'll always be a beer girl...

[K]

Tequila. Mofro. Nice. And I'm a sucker for Oregon Pinot Noirs. Couldn't move OPNs to my wine snob friends about seven-eight years ago...(oh Russian River, has to be...oh shut the FUCK up about Russian River already.) Now they brag about Oregon Pinots like they're in the know.

[J. Carson Black]

I have strong feelings on this, so bear with me.

Red wine's great, except for Merlot, which in my opinion is the Buick LeSabre of wines.

I like Bohemia. And I like the non-alcoholic beers because Clausthaller and Kaliber taste better to me than regular beer.

(Dodging bricks here.)

And I detest white wine---except for retsina, which is the best-tasting battery acid this side of Heaven.

[Jeff Shelby]

I love red wine, both expensive and cheap. The best I've ever had is under the Northstar label and its their 2004 Columbia Valley Merlot It's actually a blend, but it has the coolest finish to a wine I've ever tasted. It's like they put a Hershey bar in your mouth - straight up chocolate. It's the one expensive wine I always look for. Otherwise - I am in the ten dollar and under fan club because there is a ton of good wine to be had for under ten bucks AND with a screw top.

There is actually a cork shortage and wineries are moving away from corking their wines, so even the fancy schmancy wines are moving to screw tops.

I will not stop being a wine dork and go back to just being a dork.

[Patti Abbott]

I like white wine-sauvignon blanc. Tequilla is good too. I hate beer-my generation's women wasn't as big on it. I never drank until a trip to Paris when I was forty-eight. The coke was more than the wine so I got used to it. Love screw tops and so does every waitress and bartender I know.

[David Terrenoire]

I'm a hard core alkie. I love my vodka straight on the rocks and I can drink it all night, especially if I'm with a bunch of writers or in a band playing so loud we can't hear the sirens.

But, in the interest of long-term health, I've recently tried to be happy with a glass or two of red wine. It's OK.

I rarely buy anything more expensive than 10 bucks. I find I like Pinot Noir and Cabernet. My favorite recent discovery is a Red Bicycle (?) Pinot. Doesn't make you want to shoot granny.

It's all new to me, which is fun, and I'm in love with all the labels, too. I bought a Fat Bastard just because it's the name of our band. It was OK.

Beer? I don't drink beer. But I will have a Guinness. Never two.

Still, if I had my way and a spare liver I'd drink nothing but Ketel One on the rocks with 3 olives please. And keep 'em coming.

And I don't care that much about the olives.

[Victor Gischler]

Barefoot Merlot.

[Leave me alone]

Cork versus screwcap

http://www.winespectator.com/video/index/playerid/353549858?bcpid=353549858&bclid=1527680295&bctid=1137746585

[Gerard]

I had a vodka with lemon the other night after reading Terrenoire's comment.