I'll Show You NO MERCY, you hear me?

Wow, nearly forgot to post due to a) ongoing adventures in dental land, and b) a long-ass nap.

But let me say this as we wrap up NO MERCY week, celebrating Lori's brand spanking new book--the other Offenders are all in New York tonight, and I'm jealous, and they can suck it.

Well, it's a temporary thing.  I'll be back to my normal lovey-dovey self tomorrow or so. I really ain't mad atcha.  Just saying...New York.  All right?

I remember meeting Lori for the first time at a wild Mayhem in the Midlands several years back, same place I met Karen O. and Craig Johnson.  I remember being very afraid that I'd end up hogtied and left for dead on stage in a conference room, trying to escape before the panel "Old Women Who Like Nice, Clean Books Without Swear Words" began.  Thus was the threatening aura of the Western brigade.  Since then I've started carrying a pocket knife everywhere, just in case.

*

I saw a little display at the B&N in Sioux Falls, SD, announcing Lori's signing there next Saturday.  Wish I could make it down, since it's the closest big town around here for hours, but if not, I hope it's a success.  And it's not very far from a Chevy's, so should you want some tacos afterward, Lori, along with a huge margarita, just go past the Wal-Mart behind the bookstore until you see it tucked away on the left in the Menards parking lot.  Near a Sonic.

I'm excited about the book, too.  Sounds like my sort of read.  Onward and upward with your career, Armstrong.

So, what are some things we should have NO MERCY on?

• On TV execs who bump good show and hosts in favor of a guy whose jokes are about as funny as tainted meat.
• On the bad dentists of the world! (I traded mine in for a better one)
• On bad wine.
• On the ice on the roof that backs up into the shingles and leaks into your house.
• On mercy itself.
• On anyone who tries to make me eat healthier.  Just enjoy your tofu and shut the fuck up.

Pick up the book.  Find Lori and tell her she's awesome.  Go hunting for big game (even if that means driving to Arby's for a giant roast beef).

Comments

[Gerard]

Since then I've started carrying a pocket knife everywhere, just in case.

A Spyderco is all you need.