- Regular Joe. What could possibly go wrong, right?
- The man in the hat shot the other man in the hat.
- The last score never goes as planned.
- Guy meets girl. She's all, like, sexy and shit, and fucks him stupid. Then he does stupid things for her to make sure he keeps that pussy for himself. Then that pisses off some other guy (like her husband), who must thusly DIE DIE DIE at the hand of first guy. But then he starts to resent the bitch who got him into this even though the pussy is still pulling at his selfish, homicidal prick. Before you know it, they're fucking and trying to kill each other pretty much simultaneously. Maybe one succeeds. No one gets out happy.
- Guy needs money. Does bad thing to get money (maybe involving guys with nicknames like "Fats" and "The Strangler" and "Assraper Junior"), but a) now owes bad men money but can't afford it, or b) stumbles into murder. Either way, ooooo wheeeee, I'd make sure to wear a fake mustache and avoid Assraper Junior at all costs.
- Porn Stars. Nuff said.
- What a shitty future. Robots think they're people. People can't tell if they're robots. Then there's sex and chases. Maybe you are a robot. Th' fuck? Also, Asian food.
- Bad voiceovers, man. I'm talkin' baaaad.
- Why are all these criminals dressed so well? (Neo-noir version: why are all these criminals British and wearing track-suits?)
- It would be nice if they turned on a goddamned light so I could see what's what.
- Wrong place, wrong time, big trouble, great movie.
- Everybody smokes.
- You are so fucked. You just don't know it yet.
- But seriously, did you see the ass on her? You would've done the same thing.
What smells like noir to you?
Friday Bonus Music VIdeo: