Chris Grabenstein is the award-winning author of the Ceepak mysteries and a new middle grade book called THE CROSSROADS. His fourth Ceepak book, HELL HOLE, officially will be out Tuesday.
Recently, John Ceepak from the Sea Haven, New Jersey Police Department and Zack Jennings, the 11-year-old boy whose ghost story is told in THE CROSSROADS got together inside Grabenstein’s head for a conversation. 
ZACK: So, Officer Ceepak, have you ever seen a face hidden in the bark of a tree and known that man trapped inside wanted to hurt you?
CEEPAK: Negative. However, I am aware that the ritual drinking of an infusion of the bark of an equatorial tree of the leguminosae family, Erythrophleum, led to its being called the ordeal tree.
ZACK: Wow. Cool.
CEEPAK: Roger that. So, Zachary…
ZACK: Uhm, nobody calls me that.
CEEPAK: Then I won’t either. Would you like a cold beverage?
ZACK: Is
this an interrogation?
CEEPAK: I prefer the term “interview.”
ZACK: Can Zipper have some water?
CEEPAK: Certainly. He can share Barkley’s bowl.
ZACK: You have a dog, too?
CEEPAK: Indeed. I believe many of Mr. Grabenstein’s characters are dog lovers.
ZACK: Because of Fred. That’s his dog. The one he runs with while he thinks up stuff for us to do.
CEEPAK: 10-4.
ZACK: He ever make you battle a demon from another dimension?
CEEPAK: Not yet. However, I sometimes wonder which dimension my partner Danny Boyle emerged from.
ZACK: Danny’s cool.
CEEPAK: Agreed. So, Zack, why did Mr. Grabenstein decide to create you? Why this shift from Murder Mysteries to Middle Grades Ghost Stories.
ZACK: He still kills people in my book. Turns them into ghosts. You ever worry about our author?
CEEPAK: Yes. Constantly. Danny and I have him under surveillance, 24-7. Sometimes Christopher Miller from the FBI lends a hand. We, of course, go to great lengths not to violate his constitutional rights. So there is mystery and suspense in THE CROSSROADS?
ZACK: Tons! Plus, like I said, we have the ghosts. Including one that seems to surprise a lot of people.
CEEPAK: The man likes his surprises, doesn’t he? There’s a huge one at the end of HELL HOLE. I know I didn’t see it coming. So, why the move to Middle Grade books?
ZACK: Well, sometimes, I think Mr. Grabenstein created me because I don’t use dirty words.
CEEPAK: Well, profanity is the sign of a limited vocabulary.
ZACK: No, I mean, I think he wanted to write a fast paced page turner for all the kids who couldn’t read his adult books without frying their eyeballs on, you know, the F-bombs.
CEEPAK: So, THE CROSSROADS is paced as swiftly as my annual adventures?
ZACK: Even faster. How many chapters do you guys do?
CEEPAK: Typically 40-some.
ZACK: Okay, my story is 20,000 words shorter than HELL HOLE but there are 97 chapters! I was exhausted at the end. Hey, what’s a HELL HOLE? Is that a new dirty word?
CEEPAK: Negative. It’s an amusement park ride. I knew it as the Gravitron when I was growing up in Ohio. The room spins, the floor drops, centrifugal force pins you to the wall. Down the shore in New Jersey, they call such a ride a Hell Hole. On Coney Island, as well.
ZACK: Neat. Do you get to ride one in the book?
CEEPAK: Unfortunately, no. We investigate a locked toilet stall mystery. A body is found in the men’s room of a Garden State Parkway Rest Stop.
ZACK: In my book, the toilet gurgles and makes fart noises because the evil tree is wrapping its roots around the sewer line. Do you think Grabenstein has toilet training issues?
CEEPAK: It’s a possibility.
ZACK: And how come both our names have an “ack” in them? Zack and Ceepak.
CEEPAK: Uncertain at this juncture. Well, Zack, I wish you luck up there in Connecticut.
ZACK: Thanks. I think I’m gonna need it. Rumor has it we’re doing a sequel. Something about a haunted theatre. More ghosts.
CEEPAK: Should prove interesting. After all, Booklist gave you a starred review and called THE CROSSROADS “An absorbing psychological thriller" as well as "a rip-roaring ghost story.”
ZACK: Well, you guys won the Anthony Award.
CEEPAK: Come again?
ZACK: For TILT A WHIRL. The first Ceepak mystery.
CEEPAK: Fascinating.
ZACK: MAD MOUSE and WHACK A MOLE got all sorts of critical acclaim, too. Didn’t Mr. Grabenstein tell you?
CEEPAK: No. As I mentioned, he sent Danny and I into a locked toilet stall mystery.
ZACK: You think he’ll do that to me?
CEEPAK: Doubtful. I sense our author friend created your new series because he has too many stories tumbling around in his head for just one set of characters or audience. I feel certain, as your storyline progresses, Mr. Grabenstein will find some place even worse to send you and your friends.
ZACK: Cool. I can’t wait!
Very clever interview! Looking forward to seeing you when you come to Delray Beach next week.
Posted by: neilplakcy | July 21, 2008 at 07:52 AM
I'm constantly amazed at the creativity that Chris brings to his work. This piece is wonderful, funny and just plain amazing! Good job, now I have to get busy reading Crossroads so I understand the Zack character a little better.
Posted by: Patty | July 21, 2008 at 08:31 AM
This cracked me up. Ceepak kills me. Thanks, Chris!
Posted by: Jeff Shelby | July 21, 2008 at 08:59 AM
Chris, you're warped. And I mean that in the nicest way.
Posted by: Louise Ure | July 21, 2008 at 12:30 PM
Ack! That was a great interview! I'm a big fan of your grown-up books, Chris -- and now I can't wait to dive into Zack's ghostly world with my daughter.
Posted by: AlisonGaylin | July 21, 2008 at 12:54 PM
I must give props or a shout out or whatever the hell they call it to Jeff and Karen who proposed the idea of the "internal dialogue." I was afraid to try it at first but it was amazing how quickly the voices inside my head started chattering away. I am considering changing my name to Sybil Grabenstein. Sounds like I should live in Miami.
Posted by: Chris Grabenstein | July 21, 2008 at 01:06 PM
Yay voices in the head!
Posted by: Jeff Shelby | July 21, 2008 at 01:33 PM
All the credit for the idea goes to Jeff, but you did a great job with it, Chris!
Posted by: Karen Olson | July 21, 2008 at 02:24 PM