Copy Editors Anonymous

My name is Karen, and I’m a copy editor.

I know about comma slices and serial commas, I know trademark names need to be capitalized, and I know the quote marks have to go outside the punctuation.  I know Associated Press style better than Chicago, but that’s from years in newspapers.  There aren’t that many differences, but some, and I’m learning them.

It’s not good being a copy editor when you’re also a writer.  You might think it helps, but it doesn’t.  I hate being copy edited, because it points out that I have that dreaded disease: itotallysuckitis.

I just got my copyedited manuscript back. This is one step beyond my editor, who points out inconsistencies, character and plot problems.  The copy editor is much more nitpicky about punctuation, spelling and grammar and other issues.  These problems are marked in red, small marks that pepper the manuscript like measles. When I look at this, I no longer see my lovely prose, but the same word or phrase over and over,  my apparent ignorance about which streets are where in New Haven, Caffe Bottega has two fs and apparently Hagrid the Giant is really only a half-giant.  Who knew that, besides Harry Potter know-it-alls?

Who are these faceless copy editors who insert commas and semi-colons in some places and take them away in others?  Who are they who point out that we’ve made myriad errors, feeding into our itotallysuckitis? (I think it’s the season for itotallysuckitis, because Alison has it, Lori has it, and even our good FOFO Louise Ure has it over at Murderati this week.)  My copy editor has only a name with initials on the cover page, so I don’t even know if he/she is a man or a woman.  I don’t know anything about him/her.  It’s disconcerting.

I was not an anonymous copy editor at the newspaper.  I came face-to-face with my victims (and married one of them).  I explained why I was changing things, told reporters when their work was good (my husband was a very good investigative reporter but can’t spell).  But there were times I got yelled at, patronized and one reporter told me he had writer’s block after a planning and zoning meeting.  I was rarely thanked.

So to all those anonymous copy editors at publishing houses: Thank you for making us not look like idiots.  But it might be nice that in the midst of all those red marks, you could insert “this is good” every now and then to keep us from breaking out into itotallysuckitis.

Karen

Comments

[Victor Gischler]

Karen,

For one of my novels, the copy edits came back with comments about a character's psychology and motivation. I called up my "real" editor and said, "Uh, are we still doing story edits?"

He said, "Ignore her."

Ha.

Still, I'd like to go on record: thank you, copy editors, for catching all of my tedious mistakes. For a guy who majored in English, I sure do make a lot of them.

Victor

[AlisonGaylin]

The copy editor on HIDE YOUR EYES got a copy of the Yiddish dictionary and gave me four different spellings of keinahora in the margin, asking me to circle whichever one I wanted -- or specify if I wanted to use my own (incorrectly spelled) version. I never met this person, but fell deeply in love.

[Bryon Quertermous]

I was also a cop editor briefly, but I've always had the board in the eye syndrome when it comes to spelling and grammar. I can go through and rip up other people's writing with my knowledge of AP style and correct their most outrageous spelling mistakes, but when it comes to my own work, I never use commas where I'm supposed to and still can't spell anything with two vowels in a row. Or definately..definitley...er, def.

[patty smiley]

Karen, next time ask for Frank. He left smiley faces next to semicolons he really liked.

[Jeff]

Apparently, Quertermous can't spell "copy" either...

[louiseure]

Hell, I never met a comma I didn't like. But my manuscript still came back looking like someone had committed seppuku over it.

Ure's Truly,
Louise
(in ITOTALLYSUCKITIS mode)

[David Terrenoire]

I had a great copy editor with the first novel I ghosted. I knew his name and he caught all sorts of things that impressed the hell out of me. For instance, who knew that Tacoma and Takoma are different places with different spellings and that people who live near those places actually care.

My copy editor for Panamanian Moon was the second-brightest middle-schooler they could find and questioned why my lead female drove an old VW (her father's rich, she said, so he could afford a better car for her) which struck me as 1. Isn't this the editor's job? and 2. Does she not get this character at all?

Good copy editors are worth their weight in Grey Goose. Bad copy editors are like a five-pound sack of poo.

[Lori G. Armstrong]

Since I'm with small publishers, I have one editor, period. First time edits are for content and the nitpicky grammar stuff. The second edits are to clear up questions from the first round. Oh, I guess I do get a third round, usually from someone else.

However, there is a problem: Publisher A editor LOVES commas, semi-colons, and is very old school in grammar etc.

Publisher B editor HATES commas, semi-colons and is more AP style than Chicago. So while I'm editing 2 books at one time, before I send either off, I literally have to think: A will want a comma here, B will take it out......

Louise - you have Itotallysuckitis too? Damn too bad we can't all get together and suck down some major margaritas to get rid of it. Vegas, anyone?

[Karen]

My copy editor for Sacred Cows was named Fred. Fred kept wanting to know why Annie wouldn't have caller ID on her phone. This really bugged the hell out of him, and there were many Post Its to prove it. But I stood my ground and Annie still doesn't have caller ID.

Lori, I'm up for the margaritas, and Vegas sounds like a lot of fun! What happens there stays there, right??

[Jeff]

This totally seems like the right time to announce The First Annual First Offenders Blogorama Extravaganza in Las Vegas. I'm just sayin'.

[Lori G. Armstrong]

I'm not kidding, people. Let's set a Vegas weekend. Spouses OK, no kids.

March is usually a sucky month, how about then?

[JDRhoades]

I've had mostly good experiences with copy editors, but the last one (for SAFE AND SOUND) started off by saying that "there were more people with blonde hair in this book than would be found in a North American population." My response: "you have got to be kidding me."

He/she also had trouble with things military. He/she couldn't believe anyone could sit with a .50 caliber sniper rifle across his lap. I sent him/her a picture of an acquaintance of mine from Special Forces doing just that.
Oh, and "why would a Gulf War veteran just call it 'Saudi' instead of 'Saudi Arabia'? Isn't that like calling Hong Kong 'Hong"?

Uhh...no.

[Rob Gregory Browne]

So, Karen, tell me this. My copy editor went through Kiss Her Goodbye and changed all of the "all right"s to "alright."

Where I come from that's just plain wrong, but I let him have his way because I figured he knew what he was talking about.

Where do you stand on the matter?

[David Terrenoire]

Dusty,

You must have gotten my copy editor. She also cut the word "chatter" from my ms because it didn't sound right. Of course I was referring to intel and that, as anyone not living in a cave knows, is called "chatter."

Don't they read the papers in the school library?

[Karen]

Rob, "alright" is never "all right," according to the Associated Press stylebook and Webster's third edition. I looked in my Chicago Manual of Style but couldn't find it, and if that's the case then Webster's stands. I think you might want to raise the issue with your editor.

[michele]

I love this word itotallysuckitis
-- I get it too. I just never knew what it was called. Thank you, FO's.

[Rob Gregory Browne]

All right, Karen, I think I will have a word with my editor. Although it's too late for the first book... :)