The Power of Negative Thinking

By Alison

Let me preface this by saying that, when it comes to my family and friends, I always hope for and expect the best. (After all, they deserve no less!) But when it comes to myself... I'm not always so confident. That said, I've completed my two-book contract for NAL/Signet. (In fact, I officially become this blog's first repeat offender in December when HIDE YOUR EYES' sequel, YOU KILL ME comes out.) About a month ago, I submitted a proposal for a new book, a stand-alone called TRASH that calls heavily on my knowledge of cheesy entertainment journalism. My husband loved the proposal and so did the few trusted friends I showed it to and finally, my agent. With baited breath, I waited as she formally turned it in to NAL/Signet. For about a week, I was feeling pretty good about the whole thing, even started work on the first chapter. But then, when there was still no answer, the negative feelings kicked in. "Maybe this idea sucks," I thought. "Maybe they've already recycled my proposal and just forgot to tell my agent about it." I contacted her, she contacted NAL/Signet and they assured us, by the end of the week, we'd have an answer. Well, a week went by. Then another. At this point, I not only could not write a word of TRASH, whose title I now thought was all-too-fitting. I couldn't write a word of anything. Except emails. To my agent. Another round of them, and NAL/Signet told my agent they'd have an answer "next week for sure."  In my mind, this could only mean one thing: The people at NAL were arguing over who got the unpleasant job of telling me "we're no longer a good fit."  The worst part of this whole spiraling depression was, I still couldn't write. Not a mystery at least. Not another mystery, ever. After my family went to sleep, I stared at the ceiling, thinking about how I could get a refund on my recently approved  MWA membership and try out... I don't know. Haiku. But then I realized something. I still wanted to write this book. Deal or not. I also realized I'd written HIDE YOUR EYES with no deal and I suck at Haiku. Plus, I had a whole outline --11 pages single-spaced -- that I'd done for the proposal. Last Wednesday night I sat down, and wrote most of the first chapter... and had the best time I'd had in weeks. That, more than any yes or no from any publisher showed me that, contract or not, I really am a mystery writer. The next day, my agent called. NAL/Signet offered me a very nice two-book deal, for more money than my first, based on my proposal! What does this all prove?  Well, I guess that I can be a huge crisis queen. (I mean come on, it was only three weeks!) But also, no matter what happens, we're all best off just writing. Right?

Comments

[toni]

Wow, congratulations, Alison -- wonderful news. I'm cracking up at the time frame, though, since I'm the same way.

(Oh... for a future blog entry, could one of you discuss the pros / cons to joining the MWA?)

Good luck with TRASH. Love the title, easy to remember.

[AlisonGaylin]

Thanks, Toni! (And I'm also glad to hear I'm not alone in my neuroses!) All the other bloggers have been MWA members longer than me -- I suck at networking, too :) But I too would love to hear their thoughts on pros and cons.

[Lori Armstrong]

Alison I am genuinely thrilled for you! Look forward to hearing how the writing process progresses on TRASH and the unnamed book 4 :) now that you're in a more positive frame of mind.

[Rob Gregory Browne]

Congratulations, Alison, that's good news.

I can SOOO relate to those feelings of negativity. I'm still waiting on a contract and sometimes get nervous and think, what if they change their minds before I sign?

It's pretty silly what we can do to ourselves. What I've learned about this business is that it moves very slow and there's no point in freaking out until the actual phone call comes...

[Alison Gaylin]

You've already sold foreign rights, Rob -- I think it's a good bet that contract is coming :) But yes, the business moves so slow. The big danger is trying to analyze those long silences. Lori, the writing is definitely going better. It's fun writing a whole new character. And now I don't have to worry about what anyone else thinks of it until November of next year! Yay!

[Allen]

Awesome news, Alison! As an aspiring writer, I love to read success stories like yours.

[AlisonGaylin]

Thanks so much, Allen! Are you a mystery writer too? What are you working on?

[Paul Vincent Leone]

Bort!